Voluntary Separation

i’ve never been good at Voluntary Separation.  i’m one of those people that Brene Brown talks about in her TED talk that love wholeheartedly, knowing that something is not going to end well, and doing it anyway.  until i listened to her talk (thanks to a tweep that recommended it after reading an earlier post) i just thought i was genetically faulty, that a DNA linked to the heart or the brain was a little ‘off’ kilter when it came to things of this nature.

when i try to think back at any point in my life where i voluntary separated myself from someone or something (unprovoked), it becomes clear to me that it takes a pretty strong action, rather a forceful provoking, for me to separate myself (and then watch out, cause i cut those ties pretty drastically at that point).  even back in Elementary School, i was alone in a crush over a boy or six, whatever…no separating from that, i’ll just crush alone from over here at this desk where i can keep an eye on all of you (can a 4^th grader be a stalker?). 

last week my employer of 15 years offered us the opportunity to Voluntarily Separate our employment earlier than our close date, which is yet to be finalized.  an opportunity that will help some people accept positions with other organizations while positions are available or for other personal reasons.  i thought it was a very gracious and honorable offer.

the act of volunteering for it, much much different than i ever expected.  heart broken is what i was.  you see, we’ve had a marriage.  it’s seen its good days & its bad days and like any marriage we’ve had our spats, the anniversaries were fun, the babies (products, projects, wowing customers, etc…) we’ve produced have been fun to watch grow.  and now, with a simple email, it all comes to an end on February 28^th.   in my MBA Organizational Behavior class, they call this ‘marriage’ a Behavioral Contract.  i never minded working a lot, late nights, Friday’s, whatever.  i knew i was responsible for something bigger than myself and i not only enjoyed it but i thrived in it. 

i don’t know if its good or bad to Voluntarily Separate ourselves from people or places or organizations, it’s likely neither, but just is.  i’m certainly not an expert. 

i just know that i was able to take a step in a totally different direction this month.  make a choice that i never thought possible.  and after the little bit of heartbreak, i’m okay and looking forward to the next adventure just around the corner.  just like the rest of us i suspect.  one step at a time, sometimes it’s a corner, sometimes it’s a wall, but either way, we gotta keep stepping…thanks to Tim for that reminder. 

Tim March www.timstvs.com does this awesome talk about the Hero Story.  there’s a hero in all of us and regarding any obstacle, just step around it or on top of it or stand there moving your feet, either way, until you find that its no longer an obstacle.

when faced with what we consider to be an obstacle, given enough time and movement, something always changes: your heart, your head or your direction. 

i promise the next post will have you laughing so hard you pee your pants, even if i have to get someone else to write it. cheers.